An open letter to my ob/gyn patients

Dear patient,

I have been with you in the happiest and most heartbreaking moments of your life. I have held your hand when you have felt most scared. I want you to know that it has been the ultimate privilege. 
I cried with you when your baby didn't survive preterm labour. I smiled with my whole heart when you told me that you were so happy to have me in your delivery room. Finding your baby's heart beat for the first time and watching his first breath has moved me. 

I have seen you find strength in the most impossible of situations. When the father of your baby couldn't take the pressure or when he died during your pregnancy, I hope I was of some comfort to you. When your husband was present in your delivery, it was amazing to watch how proud he was to cut the cord.

I wanted so badly to see the different pathology that I learned about in the books. But when I came face to face with it - with you - I couldn't imagine anything more tragic. When there was no time for you to be transferred to a higher risk hospital, when the pediatrician muttered under his breath "I don't perform miracles", and when time seemed to stand still... I hoped against hope for a good outcome. One of you even pushed me so far as to go to church and pray for you.

I cared so much for you when you told me you loved me during your emotional high, when you gave me a hand-drawn picture with a grateful heart, and even when you laughed at me because of my facial expression in response to all your blood.

We have talked about family planning, your sex life, breastfeeding, and your cancer diagnosis.
I rehearsed telling you that you had precancerous cells after reflecting on how important that conversation was when it was me.

I have been witness to the highest of highs but also the lowest of lows in OB/gyn. It has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I know it has been even more so for you.

You and this work have been such a gift and I hope that my compassion and support came through as a gift in return.

- K

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